i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
