So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
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