I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
