I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize