We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
