Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
