She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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