I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
