It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
