I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
