Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
there was a trapeze. enough said
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
