woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize