after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
