Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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