Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
