these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
