i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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