Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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