Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
