thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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