Kiss
Puke
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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