She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
