Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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