yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
