but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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