i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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