ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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