Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I smell stomach acid.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
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