p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
