dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
