I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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