Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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