Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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