last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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