I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Randomize
