Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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