I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
