Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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