i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
