This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm both gender and math confused
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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