It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
