my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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