I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
