Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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