The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
