Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
