that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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