Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
