You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
