I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
