Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
