So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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