I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
