Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
