someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
