"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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