dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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