If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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