the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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