so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
