So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
