you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
