She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
