the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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