i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
