hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
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I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
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He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.