Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON