last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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