I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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