Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
