She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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